The Bastard Cast

The Bastard Family:

• Mark- the original Bastard.  When he became the Bastard Operator from Hell, we shortened his name to THE BASTARD.  He inherited his sarcasm from my Dad, via ME.  He is smart and witty……My eldest son.
• Pauline - The Blonde Bastardette - wife of The Bastard.
• Adam - Started school to become a BOFH, and earned the title The Bastard Jr.  Also a sarcastic schitt and inventor of the well used phrase…..FUCK YOU IN THE NECK….  widely used in America and now periodically in Australia.  He is smart and witty…..My youngest son.
• Gina - The Bastardette earned her title simply by being the beloved sister of the BASTARD boys.  She is beautiful, smart also sarcastic as hell…(do you see a pattern here?)
• Sandra - The Bastard Matriarch, I turned ^ children loose on the world…..and it is a much better place for it.  I have also been known to be a TAD sarcastic myself.
• Joe - the Old Bastard and father of the two oldest bastard children….has only recently began to comment on The Bastards posts.
• Mom - The Grand-Bastardette is not as much fun and we don’t claim any of her traits. However in my older years I’m looking more and more like her.
• Elaine - my sister, The Traitorous Bastardette, so named because she brought the Grand Bastardette to my peaceful home, and will never live down the title. Yes she is sarcastic too.
• Ronnie - my brother, The Poor Bastard, is stuck alone in the same town with Mom.  Also sarcastic……..

Honarary Bastards:

• Lonnie - Great all around guy, is a real bastard because after retirement went back to work and rarely ever comments on our blogs.
• Danny - A kid that lived with the Bastard family in his younger years, while his father was having his leg cut off 6 inches at a time with cancer.  He is career Army and recently earned the bronze star.  He’s our Proud Bastard.
• John - whom you might recognize as BOFHJR - best friend of The Bastard, and my adopted son.  Our term of endearment for John is The Yankee Bastard.
• John Patrick - John and I met online several years ago.  He and I share the same profession and recovery is our passion.  I thank God for putting this English Bastard in my life.
• Donna - The Deserting Bastardette - moved away to North Carolina and never blogs anymore.
• Happychick - stumbled in from Australia one day and we kept her.  She’s our Baby Bastardette.
• Keith - a stumble in from Alaska “I hate you like hell….”.  You never know whether he is serious or not…I believe he may be a Crazy Bastard.
• Mr. Angry - A great blogger from Australia and one of my favorite reads.  As his name says…he’s an Angry Bastard.
• Susan - a co-worker and great g/friend.  She doesn’t blog, but comments often.  Gives me shit when I whine, which has earned her the honarary bastardette title.
• 1000+ kids whom I have helped raise via my job and they were little bastards when I got them and decided to adopt.
• Forester - The English teacher and new dad.  He’s a Smart Bastard and wonderful parent.  You can read him in ’seedings’.
• Mayang - the witty Malaysan Bastardette…don’t remember exactly where I found her, but - she’s a keeper.

To all the above……fuck you in the neck with………