Let’s party!

May 31, 2006

Fr[1]._Richard1.jpgFor 10 years, at work, we had searched high and low for a priest to provide services for our Catholic kids.  Our answer was always the same….shortage of priests….no way can we spare anyone to come out in the country for an hour a week.  Then one day Fr Richard came to us via an AA volunteer.

Fr. Richard has a degree in Hispanic Culture studies and a masters degree in Restorative Justice.  He is on the board of prison chaplains and various other services to provide education and jobs for prisoners upon release.

He started out at the ranch celebrating mass once a month, then once every two weeks, then weekly.  He recruited voluteers from his church to provide other services.  One volunteer you see comment periodically (rarely anymore) LONNIE teaches the kids guitar lessons.  (I call him the miracle worker because they sound great!)

Fr. Richard is currently working throughout the state to provide mentors for our kids after release to insure support upon arrival to their homes.

He has been nominated for Chaplain Volunteer of the year for the entire state. (Will update you on this after this weekend when we find out the results at the volunteer conference.)

We have critters at the ranch.  Two old dogs we have raised from pups, Rancher and Ranger.  A blind pony named Cocoa.  A Beta fish and an acquarium full of sand crabs.  All of these creatures have received a special blessing from Fr. Richard.  His picture is frequently in the statewide newsletter, blessing one group of creatures or another.

He has organized ecumentical retreats for the kids during down time from school.  He ended one such retreat with mass celebrated by the Bishop.  The staff were freaked out, so he did an emergency "Bishop etiquette" training for us.

So tonight we threw a surprise party for him after mass.  It is his second anniversary of his ordination into the priesthood.  We put together a scrapbook of cards written by the kids, pictures they drew, and pictures taken at their baptism/confirmations.  And he WAS surprised.

The hit entertainment of the night was the band playing and all the kids singing "LaBamba"…his favorite song.  He thinks the whole crew is ready to go on the road.  Of course he is tone deaf and I never let him live it down.

We cooked and fed the entire house Mexican food.  Talk about stressful.  Me and two kids cooked huge Mexican casseroles, pica de guillo and picante sauce.

Everyone had plenty to eat, everyone had huge fun….

Fr. Richard Martin Collins……. WE LOVE YOU! And of course, he is another one of my adopted kids. 😀

Excuse me now while I go to my corner and have a nervous breakdown.

Thought for the day….

May 31, 2006

Look into any man's heart you please, and you will always find, in every one, at least one black spot which he has to keep concealed. -Henrik Ibsen, playwright (1828-1906)

Obviously not a member of AA OR Catholic.

AA's text says the 'we simply do not recover until we tell someone ALL of our life story.' 

I have found that it is the things that I'm going to take to my grave with me are the things that bother me the most.  i.e. We are as sick as the secrets we keep.  I recommend telling those secrets to someone you can trust to keep a confidence.

I used to be arrogant enough to believe that my secrets were "different and unforgivable".  Yeah, right………

horoscope/word of the day, Tuesday

May 30, 2006

-new aries.jpgYou might not be able to say what you're feeling now for fear of rejection. Also, you are more sensitive to what others are thinking and you really don't want to put anyone you like in the awkward position of saying no. Even unspoken, your emotions can color your day, so find a way to share your vulnerability without putting responsibility on the other person.


  1. A false belief or opinion: labored under the delusion that success was at hand. (delusions of adequacy?)
  2. Psychiatry. A false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence, especially as a symptom of mental illness: delusions of persecution. (If you believe any of this fits the Bastard Matriarch, you are suffering from delusions of sanity!)


The Bastard Family

May 29, 2006

I've added a new page to my blog entitled The Bastard Cast (see above).  It gives a little bit of background on the Bastard family and I hope you enjoy!


May 28, 2006

Jan is now off the ventilator.  The doctors say her EEG shows brain damage.  Her children decided to take her off the ventilator.  She has been moved out of ICU and is now in a regular room.  The kids met with the hospice people tonight….looks like the end is near. 

When all feels dark and hope is hard to find, remind us, loving God, that you are closest to us at the points where we most need you.

On a brighter note, I got another letter from My Army Brat, Chris.  Still loving the army and doing well in basic training.  He was telling me about his one, one, one.  One minute push ups – 60, one minute sit ups 36 (he wasn't happy about this one), one mile 7 minutes 28 seconds. 

He is in Charlie company, 1st Infantry….blowing up stuff.  He's not as fond of guns as he was prior to my meeting him, as he is around them all day every day.  He's gonna make a hell of a soldier.  I'm very proud of this young man.

Back to work………

May 28, 2006

The Bastard children call me a 'work queer', and they are probably, at least partially, correct.

However, I did not EVEN so much as read my work e-mail until this morning.  OMG!  It took over an hour to just go through the important stuff.  The thought behind reading it this morning is not to get blind-sided when I walk in this afternoon. 

I do look forward to seeing the boys.  I must admit they were in my thoughts occasionally (I'm a liar, quite often is more like it) while on my trip.  I hope Susan is there today.  She is a joy to work and play with.

There is an anniversary party planned for our priest on Wednesday, and the State Wide Volunteer conference this coming weekend.  These are the things I look forward to.  All of the administrative staff will be off tomorrow.  I will be working, because God forbid I should have an actual holiday off after a week-long vacation.

After this little joy-ride of a trip I still have 394 hours of vacation time on the books.  Maybe I'll make plans for next month. 😀

My Brother

May 27, 2006

In the Clan he is known as 'the Poor Bastard' simply because he is stuck 330 miles away in a town with my mother the Grand Bastardette.

He was born when I was 10 years old.  Our mom suffered severe post partum depression.  She spent a lot of time in bed crying.  I spent ALL my time adoring my precious baby brother.  He was a tiny thing, born two months premature.  I bathed, fed, diapered and did my best to take him for my own. 

When he was older my sister and I used to put makeup on him.  He was a white headed, eyebrowless kid.  We would get out the eyebrow pencil, paint him on some eyebrows.  Then we'd add a little mustache and goatee on for grins.  He loved it and so did we.

He was only 7 years old when I bailed out of the mad house.  But I would still go get him and he spent a lot of time at my house.  Things were bad at home and he caught the butt of it.

My brother grew up and we grew apart.

The last five days on the ocean with him were like the days when we were kids.  We laughed, we played and got to know each other again.  Here are some things I learned about my brother.

  • The Bastard blood is running smoothly through his veins
  • He is smart and witty
  • He has a low tolerance for bull-shit…the reason he and I are single.
  • He's a quick study…see ^
  • He has friends (that were on our cruise) that love and adore him and consider him their family.
  • That I have missed out on so much not being closer

I love you Ronnie.  If I had to trade five years of my life for every day we spent together this week……it would be well worth it.

Please STOP!!!!

May 26, 2006

Where the hell are my land legs?  The room keeps reeling.  Where is that damn emoticon for throwing up???  I promise I didn't drink a drop of alcohol on the trip, but I swear it feels like one of those nights I spent with one leg hanging out of bed, foot on floor to make it spinning stop.  Except this time, foot on floor doesn't help!

Home again……..

May 26, 2006

Thank you Mazda for a wonderful time aboard the Majesty of the Sea.  Thanks to you my brother, the Poor Bastard, for thinking of the Bastard Matriarch who would otherwise never have been able to take this trip. 

The Bastard Jr. picked me up at the airport – right on time.  Showed him my new tattoo.  It is oriental and he asked me what it means.  I said "can't you tell?  It says 'fuck you in the neck'!!  Not really.  It means 'love' and it is not permanent. 

Ok – so get this…..  Not once did I get a hint of sea sickness.  Nothing that would resemble it.  So I get home, sit at computer and the room feels like a rocking boat?  WTF???  BLECH!

I am glad to be home, but not enough to check my work e-mail.  My brother says he is going in to work tomorrow to just check up on "things".  I say he is a Sick Bastard, and a bigger work whore than me!  "So there" to my children who think I'm a workaholic!

Key West

May 25, 2006

Today is Key West.  Cloudy this morning….and I have learned to be grateful for that.  It was overcast all day yesterday which kept me from frying in 30 minutes.  I did get some uv's through the clouds and I won't come home white.  In fact my forehead is a nice pink and shoulders flamin red.  Thanks to great grandma, the full Cherokee, it should be nice and brown by tomorrow.

Today we get to meet with the Coast Guard, for God knows what.  OFFICER I DIDN'T DO IT!!!  Oh that was back in my drinking days.

Forecast for today is fun and more fun.  These have been the fastest 4 days I've ever spent.  I don't know when days have passed faster.  I have NEVER slept better.  Only one thing that could have made this trip better…..and you know who you are!