On Acceptance

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.  When I am disturbed, it is because I find I find some person, place, thing or situation unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."  Stolen from Alcoholic Anonymous text.

For recovering people the AA Big Book is gospel.  We try our damnedest to live by the principles in the book.  It evidentally works, because I haven't had a drink or drug since December 4, 1984. 

That being said I do have some opposing thoughts on acceptance.  Does a person have to accept unacceptable behavior?  Does a person have to stay in a job or relationship that they hate?  If a person is sick or miserable living in a town, do they have to stay there?  I THINK NOT!

I do believe that in any situation I must be free to stay before I am free to go.  (Thank you Martha Rush for giving me those words of wisdom.)

Example: Eight or nine years ago I had a supervisor that tried to kill me.  He would send me outside with kids on days when the heat index was 107 degrees, for 3-4 hours at a time.  I got all the "shit-detail" work.  This was an every day occurance.  In self defense, I moved to the late night shift for a year.  I considered myself a wimp, but  I was determined to not leave before I was "free to stay".  About 8 months into that late night stint, the supervisor got fired.   A new superintendent came on board and told me I was being "wasted" working at night and I was coming back to days.  Now 11 years at the same job, I am free to stay and don't plan on leaving.  They will probably take me feet first off the job.

When times are hard and I think I can't go on, I pray for God to help me learn the lesson.  Without learning the lesson I am bound to repeat the same mistake over and over again expecting different results (AA's definition of insanity).


11 Responses to On Acceptance

  1. the blonde says:

    That’s a very nice post Mom, I wished I could have learned that about 20 years ago. I wouldn’t have waisted my life in such a violent marriage to my ex. But that’s a post for me to write about when I get up the courage to do it. And as my wonderful father-in-law would say “Everything that happens, happens for a reason”. Thanks Dad Joe.
    Anways, nice post. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. donna says:

    I loved your post. I think that is where some people get confused, even myself at times. I can accept someone’s unacceptable behavior, but it doesn’t mean that I have to stick around for it. What do the Alanon’s say detach with love. Sometimes you can detach in the same room and sometimes you just have to detach totally from the unacceptable behavior.
    I think you had the courage to change what you could.
    Very nice ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. bofh69 says:

    I have accepted that 99.9% of the people in the world suck. Makes it easier to get through the day. ๐Ÿ˜€

  4. jcoftw says:

    “I think that is where some people get confused….”

    Hell, I stay confused! Most of the time I can’t distinguish between patience and procrastination. ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. jcoftw says:

    Damn Mark – I feel so thrilled to be in the .1%! right????

  6. Mr Angry says:

    I think maybe you can adjust acceptance to “I accept that this person/situation is like this and this is unhealthy for me. I will make a decision, based on that acceptance, that protects my well being.”

    Maybe it’s when we try to change something/someone beyond our control that we end up in trouble.

  7. Sandra says:

    Very insightful Mr. Angry, and very correct. In my opinion anyway…and I have an opinion on EVERYTHING! I have lived long enough that I can do that! ๐Ÿ˜€

  8. bofh69 says:

    Yep Mom, you are in the .1%

  9. Hell Boy says:

    it’s good to accept other people but there are 20% real jerkass that you cant do anything except suffocating ’em. me as a member of that20% recommend the use of nuke against these kinda creatures. “Nuclear energy is the undeniable right of every knuckle head”

  10. jcoftw says:

    LOL Hell Boy. ๐Ÿ˜€

  11. justnonna says:

    Just like I heard in meeting today. There are assholes that get sober, but they are still assholes! lol

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