The Bastard Jr’s “phrase inventions…..

When Adam was in elementary school he always scored off the scale (above college level) on vocabulary and word comprehension.  Therefore, it should not surprise me that he is also an inventor of vocabulary terms.  He has always been a funny kid and I encouraged him to become a stand up comic.  He never did it on stage, but continually does it on his own blog, and comments on ours.

Here are 3 of his inventions that tickle the hell out of me:

1.      Fuck you in the neck– You got me on that one, but I have to have the last word.

2.      Bitch goo – I want to beat the hell outta that woman.

3.      Poop-shoot boogie – gay male sex.

I’m sure there are many more….please feel free to add yours in the comment section.


63 Responses to The Bastard Jr’s “phrase inventions…..

  1. Hell Boy says:

    nothing to add, but you better put a copyright for the first one, it’s really great πŸ™‚
    have a nice weekend

  2. bofh69 says:

    “3. Poop-shoot boogie – gay male sex.”

    Something Adam knows LOTS about. πŸ˜€

  3. Bofhjr says:

    How does his “blanket” let his lover do the poop-shoot boogie?

  4. bofh69 says:

    It’s got a hole in it, I guess.

  5. Bofhjr says:

    wouldnt the wool on his ass hurt his lovers nuts?

  6. bofh69 says:

    maybe he has a plastic ass shield to prevent his boyfriend from brillo pad wounds

  7. Bofhjr says:

    I wonder if he ever heard of hot wax…..not hot jiz.

  8. bofh69 says:

    It would take a cement mixer of it to get all the hair off of his ass to listen to him tell it.

  9. Bofhjr says:

    is that because it got matted down from all the joy jelly?

  10. bofh69 says:

    I dunno, could be. He was at my house one time and I went in to take a piss and he was in the shower. He got out while I was still going and started drying off and all I could think of was “Gorillas in the Mist”

  11. Bofhjr says:

    what the hell are you two doing in the bathroom together? Ah yea famly that plays together stays together….

  12. bofh69 says:

    Yada yada. It was either that or piss in the kitchen sink and I ain’t a sick fucker like that.

  13. Bofhjr says:

    ok will give you that one…..I take it the maker of brillo pads contacts him when they need new materials for their factories?

  14. bofh69 says:

    Have you heard of the strategic petrolium reserve? Adam’s ass is the strategic brillo pad reserve.

  15. Bofhjr says:

    I dont care who you are….thats funny shit…….So let me get this striaght, when the maker of brillo pads wants the price to go up they stop shaving adams ass which in turns slows production down causing the price to go up? Damn poor adam how does his pets deal with the forest back there…

  16. bofh69 says:

    I think he imports his “pets” from heavily forrested areas, so I guess if that is true, they would be used to it.

  17. Bofhjr says:

    So lets say brillo pad was to have a contest to clean dirty dishes, do you think we could enter adams ass and might stand a chance to win, now lets see what could we do with a new set of pots and pans…….

  18. bofh69 says:

    LMFAO!!!! Yeah, I think we might have a chance to win, but I am sure his boyfriend would get jealous.

  19. Bofhjr says:

    Well it might work out for his boyfriend, his ass hair might get worn down enough to prevent rug burns his his boyfriends thighs…In turn making them both happier and more relaxed…..

  20. bofh69 says:

    Very good thinking Yankee. We could call our organization “Straight people doing positive things for gay people”.

  21. Mom says:

    You boys are horrible…..sorry Adam…

    LMAO…snort πŸ˜€

  22. Bofhjr says:

    yea and we need to open our first office in Texas. Donations would consist of a 40hp string trimmer/edger so we can keep it neet and tidy.

  23. Bofhjr says:

    I wonder if we could sweep up the trimmings and sale them to the “hair club for men” er I mean “hair club for gays”

  24. bofh69 says:

    I think a brush hog on the back of a Ford tractor would be more appropriate.

  25. Bofhjr says:

    Maybe NASA could use it for the international space station as insulation…..renewable resource ya know…

  26. bofh69 says:

    I thought you knew that Adam sold a good deal of the leftovers from his brillo pad contract to make R14 fiberglass insulation.

  27. Bofhjr says:

    LMAO…..Better yet, if the Klingons attack, put the hair on the missles and we will call it the hair ball bombs, when it gets in their eys it blinds them and we walk in and take over their ships…..

  28. Bofhjr says:

    The Borg dont stand a chance..

  29. bofh69 says:

    Mr. Sulu, brillo pad torpedos on my mark…….FIRE!!!!

  30. bofh69 says:

    wait, Mr. Sulu, get off of Adam……and get your ass over there and fire those torpedos

  31. Bofhjr says:

    Capt she’s breaking up….we need more hair…Capt we need more hair….Please shave faster….Mr Sulu you gotta get off the ass….we need more hair…..

  32. bofh69 says:

    LMFAO!!! If Adam were assimilated by the Borg he would be called Locutus of Brillo.

  33. Bofhjr says:


  34. Mom says:

    And he is innocently sitting in the living room, not having a clue that he is being so mercilessly bashed!

  35. Bofhjr says:

    With the ever increasing need for stronger body armer…we could weave his ass hair into body armer…I am sure its stronger than kevlar…

  36. Bofhjr says:

    Do you have a steel couch so it doesnt get torn up when he shifts his ass…

  37. bofh69 says:

    Hmmm…..brillo body armor, now there is an idea. We could call our company “Straight people saving other people’s lives with gay people’s ass hairs”

  38. Mom says:

    So I told him he needs to get online and defend himself. That you two are bashing him BAD. He says, “and that would be different than…………………?”

  39. Bofhjr says:

    the body armer would server a dual purpose, after the fighting we could use it to scrub the equipment for the next days battle…

  40. bofh69 says:

    It would be useful cleaning tank treads I would imagine.

  41. bofh69 says:

    It might hang up though.

  42. Bofhjr says:

    heres what adam is thinking…….”damn I cannot believe its such a quiet day around here, think maybe I better go shave my ass today, need to make a few dollars from my brillo customer” , “Mom where did you put my heavy duty razor, need to shave my ass”

  43. bofh69 says:

    and Mom is like “I’ll fucking kill you if you use mine”

  44. Bofhjr says:

    Maybe adam uses a subsitute for hot wax…….Road tar….takes it right off….

  45. Bofhjr says:

    adam “do do do its so quiet today lada lada da”

  46. Mom says:

    go to your corners. time out…. NOT!

  47. bofh69 says:

    Nah, his boyfriend won’t let him do that cause Adam’s heinie gets too tender when they do the road tar thing.

  48. Bofhjr says:

    and it takes him all night to comfort the smooth ass enough to play

  49. bofh69 says:

    and Mom is like “hell no you can’t use my leg lotion on your ass”

  50. Bofhjr says:

    Mom I think we are in our corners but we have our computers so its not going to stop.

  51. Bofhjr says:

    Leg lotion hell….he uses 30 wieght gear oil think enough to stick

  52. bofh69 says:

    And we wonder why we have an oil shortage in the United States……Adam, stop using all the fucking oil, I need some cheap gasoline!

  53. bofh69 says:

    In all seriousness. I love you Adam, it was just your turn in the barrel. πŸ˜€

  54. Bofhjr says:

    ditto adam

  55. Mom says:

    Love ALL my kids. They are all HORRIBLE and that is what makes you all so lovable. πŸ˜€

  56. bofhjr716 says:

    Hey, we all gotta take our turn, I have been laughing my ass off reading this.

  57. Bofhjr says:

    as opposed to laughing the hair off your ass….

  58. susan hobson says:

    thank you boys for making my day!….

  59. bofh69 says:

    Glad to help Susan. πŸ˜€

  60. Bofhjr says:

    Any time.

  61. Bofhjr says:

    we were at 59 comments so couldnt let it not hit 60 so here goes. I hope you got Grandma off at the airport ok. Adam you can go back to scratching your ass now in the comfort of your bathroom with no one bothering you. I contacted the Army and we came up with this to groom your ass
    Looks like it will work pretty damn good if you ask me. Bastard what do you think?

  62. […] My bro John and I spent a good deal of the morning busting on my brother over at Mom's blog (time well spent, I think). Finally I realize it is time to get my ass busy. After all, The Blonde had been busting her ass around here since 7:30. […]

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