So I went to Church this morning, then to an AA meeting and home.  I need to be packing for my vacation, but I keep thinking about my cousin Jan.  I haven't heard anything for a day or two.  The last was…no change.  A couple of hours pass…I mess around on the computer, chat with my kids, eat a bite…I keep thinking about Jan.  What if I never get to see her again?  Hell, I might as well get off my duff and go see her.

She's still in ICU.  When I get there, her sister Sherry is in the hall with another cousin..Sherry is crying.  What's wrong baby, I asked.  Jan had gone into full cardiac arrest right before I got there.  They did CPR and got her back.  The doctors say the family has to make a decision on what to do the next time it happens.  Do they put up a DNR sign and let her go or keep on trying.  How the hell does a family make that kind of decision?

By the time I left 5 of the 7 girl cousins are there in the room.  One unconscious, 4 talking about "remember when".  Donna said she keeps expecting Jan to sit up and say "FUCK – what the FUCK!"   She is that kind of crazy woman with true "Bastard Clan" blood running through her veins.  The dare devil who would do anything.  It just seems so impossible for it to be HER that is laying there.

Father, please let you perfect will be done in my cousin Jan's life.  Grant her peace and mercy. 


11 Responses to ESP?

  1. Mr Angry says:

    That is such a hard decision Sandra. I trust the bastard clan will show their strength and come together on this. A lesson to us all: make up your own mind what you would want in this situation, get it written up in a legal document and make sure the relevant people know. Or be like the lady who had “do not resucitate” tattooed on her chest.

  2. Sandra says:

    All my family knows that when I am in that type of situation…LET ME GO!!! You are right does need to be in a legal document.

    Strange thing is…standing there beside her bed, I just cannot fathom what it would feel like for that to be my SISTER! There was a time when my own survival was in question. I know what it feels like to face death myself, but not of a sibling. That would suck so bad.

  3. bofh69 says:

    Dad-ism: Everything happens for a reason. You may not like it. You may not understand it. You may not be able to change it, but it is happening for a reason. Truer words have never been spoken.

    God bless Jan. If it’s her turn, I say GOOD ON YA! Have fun! The other side has to be more fun than this side is. No disrespect intended.

    When I kick the bucket, and I will one of these days, I want people to party. I want Van Halen blasting out of the speakers, and I want people to drink beers, or whatever, and I want them to remember what a first class bastard I was. Celebrate the life, don’t mourn the death. Cajuns have it right in that regard.

    Mom, God takes care of the ones that come home, if you know what I mean. Not saying don’t be sad, just saying they are in a better place, that’s all.

  4. Mom says:

    Have to believe my Daddy is in a better place.

  5. bofh69 says:

    He is. He’s prolly got a plug of chew in his mouth, laughing his ass off at his offspring. I wonder if he has a white F-150 and a strip to go grab beer from in heaven?

  6. Mom says:

    Can’t think of anything that would make him happier. 😀

  7. Mayang says:

    Sad to hear about your cousin, and to make such decision you are being asked to make is not easy to make. That’s where your strength as a family will come in. I always believed that each one of us when called home will have to come home coz it is his time. We will grieve for those who we lost but then we shld. be happy for they’ve come home and they will be in a better place. At least that’s what I want my family to think when I’m gone… 🙂

  8. Hell Boy says:

    it’s a hard decision to make & as long as im brainless better shut up!

  9. donna says:

    I am so sorry to hear that babe. My thoughts are with you.

  10. charline (shotsie) says:

    I am sorry. I know that with your faith and strength from your loving family and if you put the power in prayer you will make the right decision. I will keep her and the family in my prayers to. God Bless and Keep All of You Strong, remember the “Footprints in the Sand” He will carry you through this tough time!
    Love Char

  11. danyell says:

    it seems so funny finding this now…i can tell you how we could make that desicion (alot later). my mom lived her life pushing all the limits. she loved making her own way and her own desicions. when she went into cardiac arrest… that was her way of letting go. the doctors bringing her back (15min. later) was them making a decision for her and anyone who knows my mom knows that someone make her decisions for her pisses her off more than anything.
    15 minutes without oxygen is along time…she would never have been the jan we all new and loved if we tried to hold on to what ever was left.
    the decision hurt but it was what we knew she would want.
    i spent 2 weeks with her watching, praying, singing and wishing. i will tell you she left this life the way she lived it…defying all that is written and having everyone watching in amazement…
    thank you for loving my mom

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