So I went to Church this morning, then to an AA meeting and home. I need to be packing for my vacation, but I keep thinking about my cousin Jan. I haven't heard anything for a day or two. The last was…no change. A couple of hours pass…I mess around on the computer, chat with my kids, eat a bite…I keep thinking about Jan. What if I never get to see her again? Hell, I might as well get off my duff and go see her.
She's still in ICU. When I get there, her sister Sherry is in the hall with another cousin..Sherry is crying. What's wrong baby, I asked. Jan had gone into full cardiac arrest right before I got there. They did CPR and got her back. The doctors say the family has to make a decision on what to do the next time it happens. Do they put up a DNR sign and let her go or keep on trying. How the hell does a family make that kind of decision?
By the time I left 5 of the 7 girl cousins are there in the room. One unconscious, 4 talking about "remember when". Donna said she keeps expecting Jan to sit up and say "FUCK – what the FUCK!" She is that kind of crazy woman with true "Bastard Clan" blood running through her veins. The dare devil who would do anything. It just seems so impossible for it to be HER that is laying there.
Father, please let you perfect will be done in my cousin Jan's life. Grant her peace and mercy.