word of the day

Revitalize:

To impart new life or vigor to.

I must say that the past two days are just what the doctor ordered.  Two glorious whole days to do something other than go to my job.  I started to say not work, but I did do some of that. 

I got all of my house cleaning chores done, groceries bought, errands ran.  Ordered books from the library….I feel it in my bones, I’m about to go on a reading tangent.  When I am in the mood to read, I go through at least a novel a day. 

Went to church twice, to AA twice.  I should be a spiritual giant, but both days on the way to AA I called some idiot driver a mother fucker.  Nope – not a giant yet.

On a somber note.  There was a guy in the meeting tonight that I have known for the 12 years I’ve lived in this city.  He was sober when I first met him.  Good looking full American Indian.  Viet Nam vet – decorated hero.  I don’t believe in the entire time I’ve known him that he has been able to stay sober more than a few months at a time.  He cleans up pretty.  Tall, thin, dark complected, beautiful black hair.  Always wears a starched white western shirt and jeans. 

Tonight he was sitting in the corner.  So thin I could see the ribs through his dirty white t-shirt.  He obviously hadn’t had a bath in days.  He slept through most of the meeting.  He roused when I called his name and said I love you Billy.  He told me to come back tomorrow – he may be sober.  I keep praying for that.  Unfortunately I’ve seen so many die.  If there was something I could say or do…something that I have not said or done before, God give me the words to help him.

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6 Responses to word of the day

  1. The Bastard says:

    Mom, I know you are Miss Fix It, but you can’t help someone who won’t help themself (is that even a word?). I believe you were the one that taught me that.

  2. charline (shotsie) says:

    I feel your heart Sandra! When he is cleaned up he looks so much like my dad (who also died of this disease). Chris came to our AA anniversary and he was there and cleaned up, Chris told him OMG you look just like my grandpa! So you can see my heart as I watch him day in and day out….

  3. Hell Boy says:

    there are times we cant help others, then it’s time to leave everything to devil to fix 😉

  4. Larry says:

    If this is the same Billy that I know of, then “the bastard” is correct in what he says. The Billy that I know really does not want to help himself. I hate to say it because, like you Sandra, I like this guy and would do anything to help him. But he has to really want the help for it to do any good.

    If this is a different Billy, then forget what I said. :^)

  5. charline (shotsie) says:

    Correct me if I am wrong but the way I understood “Hellboy” by the comment (leave everything to the devil to fix) he was truly saying he has to hit his bottom…
    I agree with this but I have watched him hit many bottoms, I thought might be just enough but apparently not …so sad I guess all we can do is keep him and others like him in our prayers.

  6. Hell Boy says:

    firstly it’s devil not the devil, talking generally, you know. secondly, wooaaahhh did i say something serious? lastly, a drowning person can drown those who wanna help him so we better do something he drowns asap 😆

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