In all my years in the working world, expecially as a supervisor, I’ve heard all kinds of crazy excuses for not showing up to work. Today, I think I used the craziest I’ve ever heard.
Me: Lisa, I know you’ve been a boss for years. What is the craziest excuse you have ever heard for a person not coming to work?
Lisa: I’ve heard one or two.
Me: Well here’s mine. I lost my bottom denture. Went to bed with it in my mouth last night. This morning it was gone. It is now 4:30 PM and I haven’t found it yet. Looks like I won’t be to work til I get my new one back. I just left the dentist and it won’t be ready til Monday or Tuesday.
Me: I kid you not. I tore up my room a few times. Tore my bed down to the floor. I didn’t get up in the night. I thought I was just in a panic, so I got Adam (the Bastard Jr.) to look. Same thing.
Lisa: DID YOU SWALLOW IT?
Me: Well while I was thinking I looked up on the internet ‘swallowed dentures’. It talked about the thousands of people it happens to each year, so I went to the doctor. X-ray showed nothing.
Lisa: What do you think happened?
Me: I think the tooth fairy stole it. Hell, I don’t know!!! I just know that it have shelled out $1,200.00 for a new one. I’m depressed!!!
Lisa: OK, I’ll tell Dee (my supervisor). I hope you find your teeth.
Me: Me too. Every one needs a spare set of teeth. (insert sarcasm here)
St. Anthony, patron saint of lost stuff…….HELP!