I LOVE being a woman!

Many women are anxious about mammograms, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.


Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.

Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn’t effective enough.


Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.


Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.

Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.


AND, just a thought for all the women out there……..

MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,

Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men?………And

When we have real trouble it’s HISterectomy!!!!

Don’t forget to have a mammogram!

Stolen from my precious Bastardette. 😀


5 Responses to I LOVE being a woman!

  1. Mayang says:

    OMFG?! :shocked:

    now i’m really not gonna even think of having a mammogram in my entire life! even if i need to!

    oh, about our problems starting with ‘men’, yeah it is true they are a royal pain in our asses! LoL 😀

  2. Charline says:

    see now you have scared off the witty!!! LOL
    yea men….OMG
    how funny …can’t live with them and can’t live without them! For me the key is never brag because once I do I will be eating my words. Anyone out there have that problem?

  3. Queen Minx says:

    Ha ha! I never saw that before, but fuck yes! MENtal!


  4. Debe says:

    I really didn’t think it was that bad, not as bad as the humiliation of a pap smear (which is why I haven’t been to the gyno in years)

  5. susan says:

    thanks for reminding me i have an appt to have this done…

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