I just returned from a trip to Lubbock. I was taken aback a couple of times. The first being when she was talking to her aide. She turned to me and said ‘Isn’t that right, Mother?”. The second, was when I took her to lunch at the retirement home. I sat her at the table. One of the ladies asked me how long I was staying. I said ‘I’m leaving after I take Mom to the doctor in the morning.’ Mother turned and looked at me and asked, ‘who is your Mom?’ WTF!!! I played it off and said ‘YOU goof!’ I asked the administrator if she had noticed Mom being more confused, she said no. However, her aide said she had noticed. In addition, Mom is now falling, not tripping on anything, just falling. She has also fallen out of bed.
Mother does have some short term memory losses. However, her long term memory seems to be fairly well intact. Most of the things she remembers I’d just as soon she forgot. She seems to remember every single time anyone, anywhere victimized her. She never has been at fault. She finds it necessary to go over and over these events, several times a day. I feel sorry for her. When a person only sees the other persons wrong, then there is no reason to change. At 84, I don’t see much hope of anything changing in that department.
The fact remains that she is my Mother. I hate to see what is happening to her. I am concerned that soon she will no longer be able to stay alone, even with the assistance available to her at the retirement center.
Mark and I were talking yesterday. We have not been able to decide which is worse…to lose your mind, or to live to 103 like Grandmother and know EVERYTHING that’s going on, right to the moment of death.