Late Sunday night humor

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8 Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes!

9. If at first you don’t succeed, sky diving is not for you.

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2 Responses to Late Sunday night humor

  1. The Bastard says:

    That first one is so OUR family! I fucking love it! Hell, I said I’d never get another tat, but I might just have that one done on my back.

  2. Mom says:

    Isn’t it though??? When I saw it I thought, holy crap, I’ve got to blog this!!!

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