Backward life cycle

I think the life cycle is all backwards.  You should start out dead and get it out of the way. 

Then you wake up in an old folks home beeling better every day.  You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension.  Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.  You work 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. 

You drink alcohol, you party, you’re generally promiscuous and you get ready for high school.  You go to middle school, then elementary school.  You become a kid, you play, you have no responsibility.  You become a baby and then……

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every day.  And then you finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case!
Shamelessly jacked from Shannon 😀

stuff rolling around in my head

It had been a day or two since I deleted all the spam that akismit collected for me.  167 entries for Godsake!  And wtf is a poker pub?  That is what these were mostly advertising.  Anyhow the flie is now empty again ready for new collections.

I am supposed to be off today, but no such luck.  I have two meetings after lunch.  I need to change my days off or just take a cot to take a nap in my office occasionally.

The Bastard Jr. graduates from Computer geek college today.  Congrats son!  I am so proud!!!

Lonnie is recovering nicely from his knee replacements.  He’s back to work and volunteering at the ranch.  One of the kids at the ranch is trying to get Lonnie to take him on a pass to Hooters.  This is a restaurant where all the waitresses have big boobs (ie hooters).  Aaaah men, young and old they’re all alike.

Thought for the day…..acceptance:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.  When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.  Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.         Alcoholics Anonymous Text

brain dead

Not a bloggin thing roaming around in the old head.  Been spending too much time at work, if I’m at home I’m usually sleeping or getting ready to go back to work.  Maybe I’ll write some this weekend. 

In the neck with a time clock

Two glorious days off, refreshed and invigorated I went off to work yesterday.  Fifteen hours later I drug my ass back into the house needing more time off.  Retirement is looking better and better….but not before I inflict some bodily damage on some lazy fuckwits that call themselves employees of the state.

word of the day

Revitalize:

To impart new life or vigor to.

I must say that the past two days are just what the doctor ordered.  Two glorious whole days to do something other than go to my job.  I started to say not work, but I did do some of that. 

I got all of my house cleaning chores done, groceries bought, errands ran.  Ordered books from the library….I feel it in my bones, I’m about to go on a reading tangent.  When I am in the mood to read, I go through at least a novel a day. 

Went to church twice, to AA twice.  I should be a spiritual giant, but both days on the way to AA I called some idiot driver a mother fucker.  Nope – not a giant yet.

On a somber note.  There was a guy in the meeting tonight that I have known for the 12 years I’ve lived in this city.  He was sober when I first met him.  Good looking full American Indian.  Viet Nam vet – decorated hero.  I don’t believe in the entire time I’ve known him that he has been able to stay sober more than a few months at a time.  He cleans up pretty.  Tall, thin, dark complected, beautiful black hair.  Always wears a starched white western shirt and jeans. 

Tonight he was sitting in the corner.  So thin I could see the ribs through his dirty white t-shirt.  He obviously hadn’t had a bath in days.  He slept through most of the meeting.  He roused when I called his name and said I love you Billy.  He told me to come back tomorrow – he may be sober.  I keep praying for that.  Unfortunately I’ve seen so many die.  If there was something I could say or do…something that I have not said or done before, God give me the words to help him.

Cold front

After days in the triple digits, we’re finally getting some relief.  It is only supposed to be 94 degrees today with a 20% chance of rain this morning.  It really doesn’t look like rain, but we can sure stand the 10 degree cooler weather.

Give me my life back!

I have told the powers that be….I will not be answering my phone for the next two days.  I have caller ID.  I can identify every single person who works with/for me.  I will chat with Susan on IM….that’s it!

I am taking my first COMPLETE day off in 12 days.  I don’t want to see, hear or think about my job until Sunday when I report back for duty.  As my eldest, The Bastard, so kindly pointed out to me this morning that I am too old to work that many days in a row.  He said it nicer than that, but that is what he meant.  I gotta tell you – I agree! 

Thanks Mark for the shove in the right direction.  Golly what will I do with all that time?  I bet I can think of something.  Look out world she’s on the loose!

Thought for the day

‘ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.’

Shamelessly stolen from Doug.

I started my old age when I was forty.  The reasoning was simple.  I was a cancer patient and I thought that was probably the only way I would make it to old age.  But the reason I tell people now, is that I wanted to be young enough to enjoy it. 😀 

Most people in my family live into their 80’s.  My grandmother was 103.  I think making the decision to enjoy old age is wise since we live so long.
 

Busy day

I woke up before the alarm went off this morning, 5:45am.  What is unusual about that is I rarely set the alarm, but today is a big day.  I complete my routine and out the door to the parole office.  NO, I DON’T HAVE TO REPORT.  That in itself is a miracle.  I meet the superintendent and a case manager from my job and off we go to New Waverly and Gulf Coast Trades School.  207 miles one way with 3 menopausal women.  One of us constantly having a hot flash.

The purpose of this trip is to train Parole officers from all over the state of Texas.  Can you believe that?  ME???? Training someone on a specific job skill????  Well, this specific area of training had to do with the importance of our kids continuing with AA/NA after their release.  OK, so I know a lot about that.  We were there for about 3 hours.

The real fun part of the trip though, was getting to see 3 of our boys that are now enrolled in the trade schools there.  One in automotive, one in culinary arts, one in building trades.  OMG they have turned into men.  They not only talked about what they have learned but how they are trying to help out other kids who are acting stupid.  The staff there talked about how smart and great our kids are, how they never have a problem with them.  So we were like three proud Mommas – all taking credit for what God alone did. 😀

Back home, my cell phone rings…..Another one of our recently released kids.  Having a few problems dealing with his baby’s maternal grandparents.  But I’m OK Miss, as long as I can be with my daughter.  I inquire about his job, his mom.  He is a gifted artist….I tell him we’re sending him some art supplies.  His family is extremely poor.  Oh thank you Miss.  Geeze, I love that kid.  Be sure to call Lonnie, Ruben.  Ok Miss, calling him right now…….

I don’t know what I did to deserve the gift of all these children….  No, it has nothing to do with deserving – it has to do with grace….an unearned gift.

There’s some sick folks out there

These are terms people used to find your blog: 

My Mother asked my Dad to fuck me:  Oh my God.  I think I’m gonna throw up.  I don’t know how that happened, but I’ll be damned if I type those terms into Google and see what comes up. 

I’ve had some weird referrals, but the above one takes the cake.  I might just have nightmares tonight.  BLECH!